Defining Sexual Attraction

Title: Defining Sexual Attraction

Author: Lady Girl

Summary:
A description of an alternative definition of asexuality based on the absence of sexual desire, as well as a discussion on conditions under which sexual attraction may occur.

Word Count: 400

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Sexual Attraction is many things to many people. By one definition it is simply an attraction that arouses sexual interest. In this sense most adult human beings experience it. However, when it comes to asexuality a large number of people do not experience it and I think that is when the desire for sexual activity with another person is added to the formula. I don't think this is all that unreasonable.

I will say right from the start that I believe an asexual person can experience sexual attraction and still be 100% asexual. How is this possible you ask? It is possible in that the asexual may define asexuality in terms of desire, that is, they do not desire sexual relations no matter how much sexual attraction they may experience. This in no way invalidates the asexual who says they lack sexual attraction. In fact, they are both legitimate and valid ways to define asexuality. The asexual view is best kept descriptive and not made prescriptive.

As for sexual attraction in and of itself, what exactly is it that arouses sexual interest? For every person this is obviously going to be different. There are a few general items that often factor into the sexual attraction equation. The attraction experienced may be to a person's looks or movements, to their voice, their smell, and oftentimes their general attitude towards the one feeling the attraction. Sometimes there are additional factors such as adornments, clothing, perfume, and hairstyle that may catch one's attention and add to the feeling of attraction to that person.

There is also the idea that sexual attraction is not simply limited to physical traits, although initially that is generally what it is considered to be, an attraction to those things immediatly available to the senses. I would contend however, that perhaps not all sexual people experience strong sexual attraction from the very beginning of a relationship. The building of an emotional bond and intellectual repoire may even be necessary for some before they experience sexual attraction to someone. In other words, I believe that some sexual people have sex, become involved in the relationship, and then begin to experience sexual attraction for their partner.

Basically speaking, I think finding someone sexually attractive means you would have sex with that person if all the other circumstances you regard as necessary for sexual activity exist. For some people that involves a lot, for other people not much at all.

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Source: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/77043-defining-sexual-attraction/page__p__2215212#entry2215212